Is It Giving or “Giving Back”? Rethinking the Heart Behind the Season

Every year around this time, I find myself quietly observing the world in motion.

The lights go up. The music softens hearts. Calendars fill with potlucks, toy drives, and outreach events.

Also, something beautiful happens: people seem lighter, happier, and more willing to give, and not just of gifts, but of time, attention, and care.

It’s a season that reveals just how deeply we are wired for connection.

However, in the midst of all this warmth, I often find myself pausing when I hear the phrase “giving back.”

It’s everywhere: on social media posts, company holiday campaigns, community flyers.

While I understand the sentiment, something about it always makes me tilt my head and wonder:

Why is it called “giving back” and not just giving?

The phrase implies that something should be received first. That giving is a repayment, a return, or a balancing of some invisible emotional ledger.

Perhaps, in some instances, that makes sense. I understand it from a corporate standpoint. Businesses thrive because of the customers and communities that support them. So when a company donates to a charity or sponsors a school breakfast programme, calling it “giving back” feels right, as it honours the cycle of support.

However, when we speak about giving as individuals, especially from the perspective of leadership, that framing feels… limiting.

Simply because, here’s the truth: not everyone feels they’ve received.

Not everyone feels that life, community, or even faith has shown up for them in ways that were nurturing or fair.

So when they hear “give back”, a quiet resentment or distance can grow. “How can I give back,” someone may think, “when no one has ever given to me?”

It’s a fair question. And one I’ve encountered time and time again, especially among women who carry invisible burdens, who lead from the margins, or who are navigating systems that never truly saw them.

But maybe that’s the whole point.

Maybe the power of giving is not rooted in what we’ve gotten, but in who we’ve chosen to become.

The Leadership Value We Don’t Talk About Enough

Giving is a leadership value.

It’s not about surplus. It’s about intention.

It’s not about waiting until you feel full.

It’s about recognizing that even in moments of lack, you still have something meaningful to offer, whether it’s a kind word, a hot meal, or even a moment of presence.

That’s what true leadership looks like.

Not just delegating tasks or setting visions, but showing care, cultivating humanity, and creating warmth in cold places.

This season, I invite us to reflect more deeply, not just on what we give, but on why we give.

Are we giving because we feel indebted or because we feel inspired?

Are we measuring our generosity by what we think we’ve received, or are we responding to the visible need around us?

Are we giving from guilt or from grace?

And perhaps most importantly, would we still be giving if there was no applause, no Instagram post, no tax write-off?

Giving as an Act of Identity, Not Just Charity

I’ve come to believe that giving is not simply an act of charity; it’s an act of identity.

It says something about who you are and the world you want to help build.

When we normalize giving only in the context of giving back, we risk creating a mindset where generosity is conditional, where people are only worthy of care if they’ve done something to deserve it, or where support becomes a transaction, instead of a reflection of shared humanity.

But what if we flipped that?

What if giving was not a reaction, but a rhythm?

What if we led with generosity because that is who we are, full stop?

The truth is, no one needs to earn the right to be cared for. No one should have to prove their value to receive a meal, a coat, or a kind word. And no leader should only feel called to serve when they feel personally validated.

We give because we can.

We give because it’s right.

We give because love has always been more powerful when it’s in motion.

This Season, Let’s Just Give

So, as we move through this festive season, with all its lights, laughter, and longing, I encourage you to adapt this small but powerful shift:

Let’s not only talk about giving back.

Let’s talk about just giving.

Giving without requirement.

Giving without measuring.

Giving because someone else needs it, and we are in a position, by grace or grit, to offer it.

And in doing so, may we remind ourselves that true leadership is not about position, but about posture. A posture of openness. A posture of care. A posture that says: Even if the world has not always been kind to me, I will still choose to be kind to it.

That, to me, is the kind of leadership that changes lives.

Not just during Christmas, but always.