Do We All Have a Little Dictator in Us

Rethinking Power, Direction, and the Shifts Good Leaders Must Make

The other day, I found myself in a conversation with a colleague that left me thinking long after the meeting ended.

It was about dictatorship, and whether a good leader, at times, must become a dictator.

Stay with me.

According to my colleague, when we were children, we were taught that to dictate meant to speak something out loud for others to write or repeat. It was about instruction, not control.

Therefore, his point was that, at its core, to dictate simply meant to direct, with clarity and purpose, and as such, dictatorship is not always bad.

So it kept me thinking.

Okay, if that’s true, in the purest form of the word, and if we know that in leadership there are moments where we must say to our teams:

“This is what needs to be done. This is how it should be done. And this is when it’s due.”

, then doesn’t that mean every leader must have a component of dictatorship within their toolkit?

And if so, is it really that bad to be called a dictator… or has my colleague simplified the word too much?

This conversation cracked open something deeper for me, not just about language, but about leadership, authority, and the shifts we often have to make in order to achieve real results.

The Thin Line Between Direction and Domination

The tension here is real. On one hand, clarity is kind, and direction is necessary.

Without it, teams can spiral into confusion, indecision, or delay. Especially in crisis or high-stakes moments, leadership must involve a level of certainty that feels non-negotiable.

But here’s the thing:

When directive moments become a default posture, leadership morphs into control.

And when control becomes the goal, we shift from leadership into dictatorship, where obedience replaces ownership, and silence is mistaken for alignment.

It’s not always obvious. Sometimes, it’s subtle:

• “This is how we’ve always done it.”
• “Just trust me on this one.”
• “I don’t have time to explain, just get it done.”

Sound familiar?

Yes, Good Leaders Must Sometimes Dictate

Let’s be clear: Good leaders must sometimes dictate.

There are moments when decisiveness is not only expected but required. Especially when:

• The stakes are high
• The timeline is tight
• The vision needs protecting
• The cost of misalignment is too great

In those instances, clarity, authority, and firm direction are acts of care.

But when the pendulum swings too far, when leaders operate in that mode constantly, we risk erasing the very collaboration, trust, and empowerment we say we value.

Authority vs. Authoritarianism: The Key Shift

There is a critical difference between exercising authority and being authoritarian.

• Authority is earned. Authoritarianism is imposed.
• Authority brings clarity. Authoritarianism silences voices.
• Authority guides growth. Authoritarianism stunts it.

This is one of the greatest shifts we must make as leaders today:

To stop equating firmness with fear. And to start recognising that strength in leadership lies not in how loudly we speak, but in how deeply we listen, and then act.

Because true authority doesn’t demand respect.

It commands it through presence, consistency, and integrity.

So… Is There a Little Dictator in All of Us?

Perhaps.

But maybe the goal isn’t to banish the dictator.

Maybe the shift is learning when to step into that directive mode, and equally, when to step back.

To discern when a situation calls for clarity and command, versus when it calls for curiosity and collaboration.

The best leaders know how to do both.

They don’t abdicate responsibility in the name of team consensus.

And they don’t wield power as a weapon when things get tense.

They shift.

The Real Question: What Does the Vision Require?

If we’re being honest, leadership is rarely clean-cut.

Sometimes achieving a vision does require urgency, directive action, and non-negotiable standards.  However, most of the time, what the vision truly requires is alignment, buy-in, and shared ownership.

And you can’t dictate those things.

You build them.

So the real challenge isn’t whether we need to be more or less dictatorial.

The real challenge is:

• Am I using my power to direct, or to dominate?
• Am I leading from urgency or from ego?
• Am I shifting my leadership style to meet the moment, or just defaulting to what feels comfortable?

These are the questions I’ll be sitting with.

I invite you to do the same.